THAILAND, KOH SAMUI SPA RESORT DETOX AND FAST,  MARCH 2014 

DETOX DIARY – Day One

After the immensely energising feelings I had after the Passion Café detox last month, I was hungry for more. Which as it stands is handy, as it turned out to be good training for the fasting programme I chose in Thailand at the Koh Samui Spa Resort.

After feasting on food that that left me literally numb from the eye balls down for a week after I arrived, I was ready to break form. It must be said, that I do love the fact that when you ask for a spicy curry in India people never believe you can hack it, but here in Thailand, they don’t give a hoot whether you can or not. As it turns out, I can’t, but I gave it my best face and bum numbing best, but after indulging for ten full days? I was ready for a rest and to go back to my raw food regime. I did 5 days of a divine raw food programme just before I came away in Ibiza where I teach yoga and discovered it is the kind of food that agrees with me and raw lasagne became my favourite kind of food by the end  – after chilli. Obviously.

When I discovered the raw food at the Spa Samui Resort, I was back in love. They even did a raw lasagne, which was totally different to the one in Ibiza, but just as good. I sighed an out loud moan, as a 3 night stay was rapidly morphing into a mini eat-a-thon.

It was then I noticed around me how little people had on their plates, if at all. “They do fasting here,” piped up my friend. That explained why all I could see around me was fresh coconuts being sipped and bowls of clear broth being served. I had been wanting to fast for a while, but ideally with the support of others, rather then a home solo affair. The last time I did a fast I lasted 3 days in Kerala, drinking just honey and lemon water and the odd carrot juice. I felt amazing after that and even managed a daily ashtanga class in Varkala with Dr Kamaraj, so maybe this was the place for me to try it out. I’d heard stories of The Sanctuary in Koh Phangan where people pop pills for days on end and give themselves enemeas every day and are still off loading bits of steak they ate back in 1992,  despite having eaten nothing for weeks.  My curiosity was piqued. Of course, I wanted to try. I had one and only one nasty experience with enemas. Once again it came in India, after an evil bout of food poisoning. My yoga teacher, Dr Kamaraj had taken me back to his family home for the Pongal festival.

I had been on a bus journey and eaten a dodgy “tuna salad” just before boarding and the results were the most pain I have had in years in my tummy. I was in agony, doubled over and arrived to the Kamaraj family home in a bad way. After 5 hours sweating and crying and convulsing, I was informed I was either going to hospital or an enema was required. My eyes widened at the thought. Over my dead body! “With what?” I asked.  “I will make something,” he replied. I flat refused. No way was I going to have some fashioned bit of household odds and ends up my bum in the kind of pain I was in, I felt like I wanted to die. I refused. He came back every hour on the hour, for what felt like days, until finally, I could take no more. “Just do it, “ I growled. Whatever was causing this pain, had to be released. It felt toxic.

After the first attempt, I was still in agony and it was a no show for the pain culprit, but insisting we go again, after filling me up with more then half a litre of water, kamaraj came out with his next piece of news. “We need to do yoga,” he informed me and with that he lifted me up into a shoulder stand and gave my legs a wiggle.  Despite the pain, I had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. What the fuck?

As soon as he let me down, I was cured. I ran to the bathroom and released every morsel of that rotten meal & and felt immediately better. phew!

So, as I watched the “how to” hose video, on my colema at the resort, I was bemused at the memory and filled with slight trepidation about the task at hand. Especially since this time? I was to administer a full bucket of coffee flavoured water with a hint of cider vinegar, up the place where the sun don’t shine myself.

 After a full demo from “bucket man” on how to put my kit together, I was assured it would be a walk in the park.  It was nothing of the sort, but details are not necessary here….except to say, I am not a total basket case and by this, I refer to the option to place this little pink basket under the operation table to catch the offerings of your cleanse and take a little look in the aftermath. Dear God!

Just like when I arrived in Holland to live in my Uni days and used my friends loo for the first time, I was shocked to see their “inspection shelf” as I span around to flush. I have no desire and nor will I ever, to  analyse my produce and like the T-shirts say on those working in the raw food café i can assure you in this place? “Shit Happen”. A lot.

IBIZA PASSION CAFE FEBRUARY DETOX 2014

So, in my first winter in Ibiza, I guess it was always going to be tricky to remember that, unlike UK winter time, it’s a short sharp blast of cold and you can’t hide away under a big sloppy jumper for the next 6 months whilst you combat the after effects of long sunday roast lunches in the pub with lashings of red wine and stodgy puddings.

In fact, it is quite the opposite. Whilst I have been more active than ever this winter on my bike, joining BfIT Gym, spinning, running along our beautiful coastline and also doing my daily self yoga practice, by the nature of the weather, you do still feel drawn to slightly heavier foods.

So with jeans that feel a little more snug than they did last year and a feeling on my matt of being more yogi snail than summer butterfly I was delighted to see my favourite Ibiza eatery,  Passion Cafe , was running a raw food cleanse programme.

As a total addict to the smoothies, Acai Jungle breakfast and incredible teas, I didn’t need to think twice. Today began with a raw food breakfast of a Chlorella shot, Almond milk breakfast smoothie with Lucuma and chia and a Fresh Coconut meat porridge.

The latter being my favourite, as I am a total coconut addict and am missing my usual coconut feasting time in india and this was about as close to the next best thing I have had since leaving Goa. Luckily I managed to catch up with Lana LOVE, cafe owner to get the recipe for us, which I plan to include in our JoGa Beats retreat in May. Check it out in this Passion Podcast:

 

 

 

 

 

 

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